They might feel they need to deny who they are or that they have to hide an important part of themselves. Fears of prejudice, rejection, or bullying can lead people who aren't straight to keep their sexual orientation secret, even from friends and family who might support them.
Some gay or lesbian teens tell a few close friends and family members about their sexual orientation. This is often called " coming out. They feel comfortable about being attracted to someone of the same gender. But not everyone has the same good support systems. Even though there is growing acceptance for LGBT people, many teens don't have adults they can talk to about sexual orientation. Some live in communities or families where being gay is not accepted or respected. People who feel they need to hide who they are or who fear discrimination or violence can be at greater risk for emotional problems like anxiety and depression.
Some LGBT teens without support systems can be at higher risk for dropping out of school, living on the streets, using alcohol and drugs, and trying to harm themselves. Everyone has times when they worry about things like school, college, sports, or friends and fitting in. In addition to these common worries, LGBT teens have an extra layer of things to think about, like whether they have to hide who they are.
This doesn't happen to all gay teens, of course. Many gay and lesbian teens and their families have no more difficulties than anyone else. For people of all sexual orientations, learning about sex and relationships can be difficult.
It can help to talk to someone about the confusing feelings that go with growing up — whether that someone is a parent or other family member, a close friend or sibling, or a school counselor. It's not always easy to find somebody to talk to. But many people find that confiding in someone they trust even if they're not completely sure how that person will react turns out to be a positive experience. And despite gender stereotypes, masculine and feminine traits do not necessarily predict whether someone is straight or gay.
Once aware, some gay teens may be quite comfortable and accept their sexuality, while others might find it confusing or difficult to accept. Like their straight peers, gay teens may stress about school, grades, college, sports, activities, friends, and fitting in. But in addition, gay and lesbian teens often deal with an extra layer of stress — like whether they have to hide who they are, whether they will be harassed about being gay, or whether they will face stereotypes or judgments if they are honest about who they are.
They often feel different from their friends when the heterosexual people around them start talking about romantic feelings, dating, and sex. For them, it can feel like everyone is expected to be straight. They may feel like they have to pretend to feel things that they don't in order to fit in.
They might feel they need to deny who they are or hide an important part of themselves. Many gay teens worry about whether they will be accepted or rejected by their loved ones, or whether people will feel upset, angry, or disappointed in them. These fears of prejudice, discrimination, rejection, or violence, can lead some teens who aren't straight to keep their sexual orientation secret, even from friends and family who might be supportive.
It can take time for gay teens to process how they feel and to accept this aspect of their own identity before they reveal their sexual orientation to others. Many decide to tell a few accepting, supportive friends and family members about their sexual orientation. This is called coming out. For most people, coming out takes courage.
In some situations, teens who are openly gay may risk facing more harassment than those who haven't revealed their sexual orientation.
But many lesbian, gay, and bisexual teens who come out to their friends and families are fully accepted by them and their communities. They feel comfortable and secure about being attracted to people of the same gender.
In a recent survey, teens who had come out reported feeling happier and less stressed than those who hadn't. The moral compass of our age seems to be fundamentally unhinged, spinning wildly in all directions. It is chilling to think where we are heading. While in the s we were only a few hundred activists — and very exited to be among that small number — now we are talking about millions, in terms of gay identities.
The younger generation of course has its own fresh views. But how fresh or welcome are some of these new views? For example, the Pride marches are more and more about the police and military marching in huge troops, and people cheering at them. What is the politics of cheering at army and police presence in heart of a struggle for being something that the state control forces often have helped to put down — and still keep doing so in many instances.
Is it about homonationalism or something more complicated, hopefully more critical, to cheer for the public space that enables coming out also for those who serve in these traditionally homophobic forces? How is the discourse of human rights linked to this phenomena?
Unfortunately, conservative and even racist voices are increasingly loud also in lesbian and gay communities. Out and proud has come to mean to some out conservative, nationalist, racist and proud of all that. Even if alt-right is largely still an US thing, and the LGB bigotry attitudes in the Nordic and European countries are less visible, they are worryingly in increase. To think like this is about being ignorant and not-interested in queer world-making, in terms of more diversity, equality and social justice.
Further, the increasing UK discource against queer asylum seekers and immigrants is also highly alarming. Even if this idea of Europe has already been badly tainted and fragmented by the EU member state policies themselves.
We need to redescribe our critique towards EU and the US by taking also an account of the bigotist white lesbians and gays. Maybe you're lonely. You see all your friends starting to develop crushes and going on dates. Maybe you're scared. You don't know how your parents, friends, family, or church are going to react to you coming out that you're gay, pansexual, gender fluid, or questioning. Maybe you're angry. You see injustices happening against our community; trans women of color being murdered, LGBTQ people being denied jobs and housing simply for who they are, and you want to know how to speak up.
Maybe you're tired. Tired of being bullied, of teachers not standing up for you, of your church telling you that you're a sinner, and feeling like you can't catch a break. Maybe you're confused. Your health class isn't talking about gender identity and same-sex relationships, so you don't know where to find accurate information to help you take care of your health and well being.
Or maybe you're straight but want to learn how to be an ally and better support and encourage your LGBTQ classmates and friends. High five to you, and thank you! I felt all of these emotions growing up. For a long time, I thought I was "the only gay in the village. The LGBTQ community is full of some of the most diverse, creative, fun, sensitive, conscientious, intelligent, passionate people I've ever met.
I'm so excited to join Seventeen. To help me tackle your important questions, I'll be introducing you to some incredibly smart, inspirational, fun, and fierce LGBTQ friends and allies. We can talk about whatever is on your mind: What to do because you have a big crush on your best friend who happens to be the same gender; things to think about before you go on your first gay date; how to explore your gender identity. From coming out, dating, and sexual health to intersectionality, activism, peer pressure, and religion, you can think of this as a virtual GSA — nothing is off limits and I'm here to help you however I can.
All my social media links are below. I'm going to film a video at Seventeen's headquarters this week tackling your questions, and I'll also be using them as inspiration for future columns, so don't be shy. Please keep in touch and I can't wait to hear from you. If you are a young LGBTQ person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgment-free place to talk, call the Trevor Lifeline now at Thinking about coming out in high school?
Watch this video for some great advice:. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. How to Watch 'After We Fell'. I used to HATE my name. That'd be Ray! Courtesy of Raymond Braun. This content is imported from YouTube.
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